30 July, 2017

A Note On Insecurity


I’m insecure. It’s a tiny sentence, but I haven’t wanted to admit that. Other people have insecurities. I can see them, and I’ve even looked to make sure I wasn’t doing the same thing. But I had an experience which gave me a different perspective. I saw my insecurities: I saw they were changing the way I behaved, the people I talked to, the self-talk I allowed. I noticed a change in my interactions with people in real life, and I gave time to my insecurities about online interactions. Is it worth blogging? Am I offending people? What if no one reads it? Can I even write? I want to share what I feel God’s been teaching me, but what if it’s not really truth?

You may have noticed a gap in my posting (or you may not have, as my insecurities would like to point out). It’s not because of a lack of desire or things to say. I’ve been busy, yes, but I’ve been hesitating. I want to be honest: I have insecurities about blogging. 

They’ve been there all along, but I hear God calling me to do more with blogging – to go deeper, to see it as my ministry, to open up and allow Him to work. It’s a step out of my comfort zone; it requires walking past those insecurities.

It’s made me realize something: insecurity is about fear. Why am I insecure about this? It’s because I’m scared. But God doesn’t dwell in fear. He’s love, and perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18) And that’s the answer to my problem, my weakness, my struggle: more love, more God.

 ~

Everyone has insecurities.  They’re a natural part of life in our fallen world. I’m not suggesting to glorify them, but please, don’t be insecure about your insecurities. If you’re struggling with something, feeling alone, feeling less-than, scared about what people will think, about what you’re called to do, about the past or the present or the future: you’re not alone. You’re beautiful, you’re loved, and you have purpose.

“But now thus saith the Lord that created thee… Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee. Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee…” Isaiah 43:1-4

Let’s be a little kinder to those around us: we don’t know what they might be struggling with inside. Let’s be a little more open, because we’re all in this, and connection is powerful. And when we find ourselves facing those fears, let’s go to the One who is perfect love, and let His truth set us free. 

Thanks for listening, and I hope to see you more often from now on. In the meantime, what has been on your heart recently? Is insecurity something you struggle with? How do you think we can combat it? Tell me what’s going on for you. I appreciate you all, and you bless me so much. 

Jessica xx

27 comments:

  1. I do agree that we need to open up about our insecurities. We live in a fast paced world where it's discouraged to show down, stop, and just talk about emotions because it gets in the way of whatever needs to be done. Don't feel insecure, Jessica! While we've all been there, you're writing is wonderful. I always want to hear what you have to say in your posts because they're so insightful.

    It's funny, because while you did a post about insecurities, Lauren Elizabeth did a post about self-confidence and although they're written stylistically different, they still compliment each other. Her post is right here!

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

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    1. Just realized that it's actually Lauren Emily! There are a lot of Lauren E's. >.<

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    2. Yes, it seems our society isn't geared towards honest sharing. You described it well. Unfortunately ignoring insecurity doesn't make it go away!

      Thanks for the encouragement, and recommendation! Lauren has some great tips there; I'll have to try to remember them. Thanks so much for your support, Abby.

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    3. Haha, I've just read this! There are quite a few Laurens - thank you for mentioning my post Abigail <3

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  2. I read this and oh my goodness so much love for this post. <3 <3 Thank you for sharing. xoxo

    Sophy

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    1. I'm glad it could speak to you, Sophy. Thanks for your sweet comment. xx

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  3. This is really relatable Jessica, I struggle with insecurity as well and sometimes its hard to put yourself out there. But honestly your posts are AMAZING, and ever single one has inspired me so much. Don't stop, your words are so encouraging and your testimony is important <3 You have been a blessing from God and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

    Beautiful points, beautiful verse, and beautiful article. <3 Thank you so much for sharing your heart, it's not always easy but you're really encouraging <3

    Anna | www.worldthroughherheart.blogspot.com

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    1. Aw, thanks so much for your encouragement and reassurance, Anna. All praise to God! That's something I'm learning - if insecurity drives me to Him, then it's a good thing.

      And, I want to say the same back to you: your blog, and thoughtful posts and comments, are a blessing. Don't let it stop you! Thanks for your comment - it's so nice to know we're in this together.

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  4. I don't even know what to say. This is amazing. So so relatable and I know it must have been hard posting this. I really love how you worded everything, this was so beautiful♡♡♡

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    1. Thanks for your understanding, Paige - I felt I needed to say it. And I also want to say you are one of the most genuine and honest bloggers I know: don't let fear keep you back. Thanks for being a blessing! :)

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  5. Person, I wish I had a world of wisdom for you, I don't know why that was just my first thought. I love you! He loves you! What you said is so true. Maybe you don't believe this but when I read your posts they are so much more open than they use to be!
    Here is some couragement for you, https://au.pinterest.com/pin/340936634283014161/
    Many loves,
    Little Sister

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    1. Person, you already encourage me so much! Thanks for this comment, and for listening to me, and pointing me back to Him.

      I love you more. ;)

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  6. "What if no one reads it?" she says as Jo continues to read every post. :')

    In all seriousness, this is something I can understand. I do my best to push insecurities out of my mind that when it all comes back, it hits hard. I may not have your connection with God, but I'm glad He told you to write this post because I think it'll really encourage me on my worst days.

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    1. I'm so grateful for your support, Jo! It means a lot. :) And I'm so glad this could be a help to you - insecurities aren't easy or fun. You said it for me: praise God!

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  7. This is so good <33 Even last evening, my family went to the park to play tennis, and it was so strange. I was worried about what everyone else there was thinking...if they were judging me, watching me, staring at me. On. on. on. But you know, even in that, I'm like, if the only person I want to please is Jesus, then I don't need to worry about what other's think! It's just hard. And this post hits that spot on :) It's amazing how you let God use you to write blog posts; it's definitely a ministry and you're such an inspiration, Jessica <3

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    1. Oh, I know what you mean! I feel exposed in public areas like that too. You're so right though - there's only One who we should be living for.

      Autumn, you have no idea how much of a blessing your last sentence was to me. God's been impressing me that blogging is my ministry, but I've been feeling insecure about it (see above post!), and unsure exactly how one uses a blog as a ministry. So thank you so much for reading and encouraging me. xx

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  8. Great post! Insecurity is just fear. And when we turn our eyes off of Jesus and onto ourselves then we notice things we don't like about ourselves and feel insecure or afraid. Like Peter walking on water; when he took his eyes off of Jesus he felt afraid and started to sink.
    We need to keep our eyes on Jesus.
    Shine His light :)

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    1. Yes! It was kind of a 'lightbulb moment' when I realized that! Wow, I like how you linked it to the story of Peter. That's a powerful analogy. Thanks for reading and sharing, Sarah! Keep living His light too! :)

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  9. This is such a beautiful post! Abigail Lennah sent me your way as we have written posts on a similar theme - I'm so glad she did. I love how you address the situation, instead of masking our insecurities and being consequently insecure about them, we should accept them. The point about kindness is so important as well, a factor I also addressed. If everyone was nicer to each other, the world would be a much better place to be. Lovely post, Jessica. I've given you a follow <3

    Lauren | Sincerely, Lauren Emily

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    1. Yay for Abby! She suggested your post to me as well. :)

      Yes, it would be a much better place. I guess it's up to us to make that change in our own little sphere! Thanks so much for commenting and following, Lauren! I will be checking out your post.

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  10. Thanks so much for this Jessica. "don't be insecure about your insecurities" Definitely needed that!

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    1. I'm so glad it could speak to you, Gloria. Keep being brave in Him! xx

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  11. Wow Jessica. That last insecurity of yours that you named. That's just how I often feel: "I want to share what I feel God’s been teaching me, but what if it’s not really truth?"

    If insecurity is based on fear, then my fear is that I read too much of my own thoughts and interpretations into God's Word. Sometimes I just get so excited about what I feel He's teaching me. Is it acting on a whim to go and share it? What If I read back over my blog post a few weeks later and find that I now disagree? Do I then delete the post? What about all the people who might have read it between then and now and said they really agreed - people I may have just mislead? James said not many of us should be teachers because teachers will be judged more strictly. I try to tone down anything that might make people perceive me to be a "teacher", but I think that it's common for blog readers to esteem bloggers as authority figures, particularly readers who don't themselves have a blog of their own.

    So do I just blog about things that are less spiritually important that I might not make so grave a mistake? But I *want* to write and dwell on those things that are most important in the light of eternity. So then what?

    I just have no answers, so I continue doing about the same thing...

    I guess this is the long way of saying that I relate with your insecurities. I do.

    Thank you for being faithful to post even as God calls you deeper. xx

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    1. Ah Jordy, you echo my thought processes! I know what you mean. I don't have answers either, but a couple of things are coming to mind:

      1. Your desire to share with others what you're finding in the Bible comes from God. You're excited about what you're finding (and I see it in your posts!), and that reminds me of the definition of 'enthusiasm.' You know where I'm going with this one. ;) That's the Holy Spirit working in you: enlightening you as you read, making you come alive through His word, and giving you the desire to share. We're going to have personal (and possibly incorrect) biases, but what I'm saying is: if God gives you the desire to share, it's His business to protect His reputation.

      2. God only asks us to do our best. I haven't read through my old posts, but like you said, there are probably things I don't agree with now. But back then it was the best I knew - it was new and exciting. If we're doing our best, we have to rest in the fact God will make up for our deficiencies. (Because they're always going to be there!) So following on from point one: if God lays it on our heart to share, He'll make up for what we can't offer. I worry too that I'll promote some false theology and mislead others, but if it's unintentional (we didn't know better) we aren't held accountable.

      3. Personally, I am blessed by your desire to focus on the things that really matter in light of eternity. I see few people with that burden, especially youth around our age, and I really want to encourage you: don't give in to the insecurity. You're here for such a time as this. The world needs people who stand up for what they believe in, and share Christ's love and truth in the middle of crisis. They need a picture of Christianity that points them to Jesus. Satan wants to stop that every way possible, so please let the feeling of inadequacy press you closer to God, but don't let it stop you.

      "Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:24) Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly, and know you're not alone. xx

      P.s Forgive me if this came across like a sermon! And please share if you disagree, or come to more light on the topic. We're in this together! :)

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  12. I know I'm late, but I just read this post and really liked it. :) I have SO many insecurities about EVERYTHING, and of course it affects what I do. Your perspective is good.
    And just so you know, your blogging has improved a thousand fold since you started.

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    1. No such thing as late here. :) (And I was just wondering whether you read my posts, and your comment popped up! Thanks for leaving it; I always enjoy hearing from you!) I hope this was able to help in the smallest way, because I know insecurities are no fun. :( You’re not alone, and God is bigger.

      Thanks. That means a lot because you know – you’ve seen everything. :)

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