Life Updates with Jess

Blooms courtesy of sweet neighbours and friends.

Hello beautiful people! It’s been a while again. I find it easy to make excuses for not posting, and, while I still don’t feel I have much to share, here’s what’s been happening.

- I turned twenty-one. It sounds so old; I honestly don’t feel more than seventeen. I didn’t want a party or anything fancy, but at the last minute I emailed family and friends to let them know they were welcome to come over for a meal the day after my birthday. They all came. A few people couldn’t make it, but I was so, so overwhelmed by the effort they made for me. I have such wonderful people in my life, and I just want to shout thank you! If you have people in your life who care about you, treasure them and let them know. It’s such a wonderful privilege.

 - I’m taking a social media break, namely from Instagram and Pinterest. It might not sound like much, but I’m amazed at the impact it's had. I heard that the amount of time spent on social media is directly linked to depression or anxiety, and I believe it. I feel incredible freedom not ‘having’ to check my phone or keep up with everything. I have more time. But there’s also so much more mental space. My mind is not consumed with content I’ve seen, comparisons I’m making, and a restlessness to experience more. It’s been fantastic, and I recommend it to everyone. If you do decide to have a social media fast, my tips would be: make a definite and specific commitment, and have something to replace it with – it’s in the moments of boredom or stress that it’s most tempting to reach for the phone again. 

- Because of the social media fast, I’ve been reading a lot. I read more in August than what was ‘normal’ for me to read in three months. I used to read a lot, and I’m enjoying getting back to it again. Reading voraciously does mean it’s hard to absorb and remember the books I’ve read, but a few which I really wanted to digest I went back and summarised the main thoughts of the chapters, and that helped to cement them in my mind. My sister and I are going to a second-hand bookfair this weekend, and we’re so excited about it, haha. I’ve rediscovered the magic of reading, and it’s entirely wonderful.

- As far as those life responsibilities we’re meant to pursue as grownups, I finished my counseling studies mid this year, and I still have my job delivering mail. It’s good, though it seems no matter how old I get or how organized I think my life is, I always arrive back at this place of what am I meant to be doing now? At the moment I’m looking for more work, contemplating more study, and wondering what direction to take next.

- I struggle so much with being open, but transparency is something I need to cultivate, so here: I’ve been struggling with fear and insecurity a lot recently. One of the things it’s targeting is this area of career. I have a vision: I want to totally redo my blog, and use it as my ministry to pour into people; broaden and deepen my online presence, as God leads. That’s what I believe God wants for me. But I have doubts, I have inadequacies, and I also have frustration when it comes to the technicalities of website building. I’ve been stalling on it for months, although I know it’s what I’m meant to be doing. Like I said above, I’m looking for more work and education, but it’s a half-hearted endeavour because I know it would be temporary. I don’t know if that makes sense, but if you would like to pray I find courage for this situation, I’d be so appreciative. 

- While that sounds depressing – and it is if I dwell on it too long – there are lots of little things giving me joy in life. Spring is coming, and I’m so excited for warmer weather and sunshine. Trees are starting to bud and blossom, and it’s such a hopeful time of year. We’ve had a little bit of rain, and it always makes things fresh and alive. Also, Ephesians is a wonderful book, if you’re looking for where to read next in the Bible. (Thanks to Abbiee for recommending it the other day – it’s been so good to reread!)

So, that’s a little bit of the happenings here. Let me know if you have any book recommendations or tips on having courage. And do tell me what’s been going on in your life, and how I can be praying for you! I appreciate you all. xx

Outpourings of Beloved Heart & Living in the Presence of God

Hey friends! Recently I read Outpourings of a Beloved Heart by Joan Embola, and I wanted to share because it was a blessing to me. I haven’t talked much about what I've read in ages, and I kind of miss it. :)

Outpourings of a Beloved Heart is a 30 day devotional book with a poem, scripture reading, and reflection in each chapter. It explores various aspects of the gospel and Christian experience, centering on God’s everlasting love. It’s full of Bible verses, and for me it was one of those books where I came away feeling like I’d spent time with Jesus, rather than exploring an author’s ideas. It was also the whole gospel – not love and grace without mentioning sin, nor law and sin without mentioning mercy. It’s something to be read slowly and digested.

I really appreciated the genuineness and authenticity of Outpourings of a Beloved Heart. Joanny doesn’t shy away from speaking the truth, but it’s done in love. This is written from the heart, and that’s what held my attention. I don’t often read poetry, but the poems were raw, an honest and heartfelt portrayal of growing in Christ.

It was also cool to see how authentic Joanny’s writing style is. I could literally imagine her speaking the words from hearing her voice in her YouTube videos. And there was one little sentence she wrote over and over again, and it impacted me. He loves you. When you hear something enough times it finally sinks in and becomes a part of your subconscious beliefs. That’s my God. That’s your God. 

There was also another statement I’m still thinking about. Everything you need is in the presence of God. p83

If everything I need is in the presence of God, then all I need is to be in the presence of God continually. It’s the essence of the Christian journey; drawing closer and closer to God. This is where peace and rest and joy and love and hope are found. This is what Jesus meant when He said abide. I’m still trying to process what it looks like on a daily basis, but this is it. This is the true Christian life. 

So, I’d love to hear if you have any thoughts or experiences on living in the presence of God, and what that looks like in everyday life! I feel like I’ve lost any knack I had for writing book reviews, but Outpourings of a Beloved Heart has been a blessing to me, and I wanted to pass that on, especially because it's just been released! :) Here's the link for the paperback. My friend Joanny has put so much time and heart into this book, and it’s solid. I hope it can be a blessing to you too! I've included the official description below:

The name "beloved" refers to one who is dearly loved and deeply treasured. God called Jesus His Beloved Son in whom He is well pleased and because of Jesus, we have been accepted into God’s family and given the right to be called His children. So we are deeply loved by our Heavenly Father and He loves us as much as He loves Jesus. But do you believe that with all your heart? What about when you are surrounded by the worries and cares of life? Are you still sensitive to His love then? Do you feel you are too imperfect to be loved by a perfect God? Do you feel you carry so much garbage that His love can't possible take away? Well, here's a chance to know more about the Father's love for you through poetry and reflections. It is a chance to find peace, comfort and joy in His presence. A chance to be reassured that His love for you never fails even in the storm. These are the outpourings of a heart that has found true solace in the arms of a loving God.

What’s a book that’s impacted you recently? Have you checked out Joanny’s blog or channel? How do you think we can live in the presence of God?

The Best Thing

My sister and I went to the city recently. We discovered new op shops, we eavesdropped on interesting conversations. We admired old and collectable books and breathed in the atmosphere of second-hand bookshops - it was quiet, almost reverent; like the feeling of a library, only magnified. We were amazed at how many books can fit into small shops, and realized how many books we haven’t and won’t ever hear about. We traipsed around the shopping area looking for a particular store with the not-always-helpful google maps. I managed to thoroughly embarrass my sister by forgetting how to operate a lift and which level we were supposed to get out on. We got honked at when I didn’t see a car as I pulled out, and we saw two vehicles collide right next to us. We had doughnuts, and ate them outside at the café table and chairs like normal people. I played a street piano which happened to be more in tune than ours at home. We walked, and talked, and laughed a lot. We joked about my parking skills. We just really enjoyed life, and we got ice cream on the way home. We saw so many people, but, as my sister said, everyone looked either sad or fake. Everyone except the friends we made.

When we finished exploring at our first stop, we noticed a guy busking across the street. As I put my coins in his guitar case, he interrupted his singing to say thank you, and added ‘you have beautiful hair.’ I said thank you and he said ‘have a beautiful day.’ We wished him the same. And, you know, that little interaction was somehow more rewarding than the impressive shelves of books and all the racks of clothes we’d just looked through.

As we were looking for a place to park next (mostly because I missed the obvious parking signs), I recognized a homeless man sitting near the mall entrance. It was the same man I met about a year ago. When we’d found a park, I walked past to make sure it was him, and asked my sister if she had any change. After we gave him the money, I asked if his name was Grant. He was taken aback and asked how I knew that. I told him I’d met him almost a year ago, and wanted to say hi after I saw him again. He seemed touched, and we got talking about where we were from, as it was evident I don’t come to the city often. It turns out he used to work on a property a few kilometres down the road from where we live! You know, the world seemed to slow down in that moment. People were rushing past, crossing the road and hurrying on, but here we were, leaning against a pole, having a good old yarn to a man who could’ve been our neighbour. My sister and I exchanged smiles afterwards and I knew she got it. 

We finished in that area, and were walking back to the car which was a couple of blocks away. Near the last entrance we had to go through was another man experiencing homelessness. He was a young guy, and he was holding a ginger striped kitten. We walked over, and as he saw our intentions he called out ‘God bless you!’ I asked about his cat as my sister gave him the coins, and he said its name was Eddy. ‘After Ed Sheeran,’ he added. He didn’t have lots of stuff; he didn’t even have warm clothes on. But, you know, I think he was the happiest person we saw. 

My sister and I talked about our day as we drove home. It had been full; we’d seen a lot of things, we’d had fun, we’d found stuff to buy and bring home. But we agreed the best part was our experiences with the busker and homeless guys. It was connection. That’s what we’ll remember. I’ll think of Grant when I drive past that property now. I’ll think of the guy with his orange kitty when I hear an Ed Sheeran song.  

So, you know, amidst a fun day out and the bustle of a city experience, I think I discovered one more secret to this life: the best thing we can give to our fellow human brothers and sisters is the gift of connection.