A few weeks ago I was reading in Jeremiah, and it didn’t
make sense at all. I wanted to know why God did what He did, and how that fit
with His character of love and mercy. I was frustrated because I didn’t have
answers.
I’d been thinking about Job and how he said he’d trust God,
even if God destroyed Him. (Job 13:15) Job didn’t know why everything was taken
away from him, or that it would all be restored in the end. Through the whole experience, the Bible says he did not sin. (Job 1:22) But later in the
book, God rebukes Job for thinking to understand Him, the Most High. It seems Job was doing his best, and God comes along and humbles him in the
dust. It's always mystified me.
I was also reading a fictionalized account of
the story of Noah. What impressed me throughout the story was Noah’s obedience
to God despite the fact that he didn’t understand. The story of the flood is familiar
to us, but it didn't make sense to Noah. He hadn’t seen rain before. He didn’t know how it was logistically possible
to live with all the animals on a boat. And, he had a hundred years of building
in faith before he saw any evidence. But he did it anyway.
One of my favourite passages in the book said:
‘It’s always hard to
follow the Ancient One. He doesn’t offer an easy path. I think He tests us.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean anyone would
follow a god who is always good to him, who is always there. But the Ancient
One wants men and women who will serve Him when they feel dry as dust in their
hearts, when they’ve cried out, yet the heavens are silent. Those who feel as
alone as is possible for a human being to feel, but after all of that, still
love God – they are the followers the Ancient One seeks. - Heart of a Lion, p88-89
Somehow all those moments came together, and I realized it
was a rebuke for me. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to understand God or
the Bible, but I was placing my belief on it. I was trying to understand God so that I could believe He was there. I
was trying to learn facts about the Bible and history and science so I could prove to others God is real. I was
trying to reduce God to an explanation.
But the truth is if I could understand and explain God, He
wouldn’t be, couldn’t be, God.
It’s not a prop for ignorance. It’s good to be able to defend
what we believe. There’s point in learning and trying to understand the Bible,
even complex parts. But I felt God
rebuke me. You don’t have to understand
to believe. Job didn’t understand, but he believed. Noah didn’t understand,
but He obeyed. Abraham, Mary, Peter – they didn’t understand, but they believed
and obeyed in faith.
Since then, I’m seeing or hearing about faith everywhere. It
was faith that held these men of the Bible in obedience even when it didn’t
make any sense. It was faith that kept them hoping and believing. Faith is our
evidence; the proof we have. Even if it’s dark in every direction, faith gives
us the confidence to say,
I don’t know what You’re
doing, but I know Who You are. - Who You Are, JJ Heller