Change

Yesterday I shook hands with a homeless man. His name was Grant, and he was sitting out the front of a shopping mall, head down, dog beside him, and a sign which said hard times had come and every bit of change counted.

Call me childishly innocent, but once I see people like that I can’t get them out of my mind. I’ve been sheltered from the scary scratch-to-make-a-living world. I knew about these things; I’ve read books about people who are homeless, addicted, or abused. I know it’s reality, but it’s never been real to me.

I remember the first time I saw someone’s makeshift bed up an alley. I looked twice before I realised. That’s someone’s bed. That’s where they sleep. That’s where they live. Something out of the storybooks was in front of me, and I had to realise it was all nonfiction. I can still picture it now. 

Back to yesterday: my mum had to go to the city, and I decided to go along and do some busking while she was busy. She dropped me off in the city centre, and I started walking through malls and along streets of shops looking for a place to set up. I went down a street, and the first thing I noticed was a bright purple blanket, laid out to the footpath. It had something underneath it, and at first I thought someone was lying there, but when I got closer, I saw it was a sleeping bag.

A man shuffled past me, and stopped. He was dirty and unkempt, and he had a cheap bag over shoulder. He pulled the bag off, and got out a pair of scuff-like shoes, which he put on and kept walking in the frosty morning air. 

I went through a mall, and that’s when I saw this man sitting with his piece of cardboard in front of him. People were rushing past, pretending he wasn’t there. I couldn’t get him out of my head; I wanted to give him something, but most of all I wanted to talk to him, to understand, if that were possible.

I went and busked for a while, and came back with what I’d made. He was still sitting there. I joined the flow of foot traffic, and walked right past him into the next mall. Why was it so hard to approach this man, a human being just like me? Why was I worried what people would think of me?

When I went over to him and emptied out the bag with the small amount I had, he thanked me profusely. Now what? I wanted to help him yes, but I wanted connection. I wanted to know what life was like for people like him. So I asked, and he told me. He told me how it started when he was thirteen, and struggles he’s had with his family, and how he has health problems now. He told me he was more fortunate than most because he had a car and his driver’s license. He told me he doesn’t drink or do drugs, and how he helped a few other homeless people out that morning and told them where they could get help. He told me he was a Christian and his faith in God helped him through. In the end, he asked my name and extended his hand.

I went back to my spot and busked some more, but things were different. My stereotypes were shattered. I played on, and observed from his perspective, from their perspective. I was a person on the street, and I was ‘asking’ for money. I saw how people ignored, pretended I wasn’t there – or noticed but didn’t acknowledge except by glancing at my case to see how much I’d collected. I watched the kids stare and the parents make sure they kept moving. I’ve had it before, but I realised what it would be like if I were sitting instead of playing, had a cardboard sign instead of an open case. I would be inferior, not worth a glance: too familiar to have any impact.

Again, this is new to me. I’m not desensitized. I still see people, and I want to stay that way. I don’t want to be one of the crowd. I don’t want to be so consumed by materialism I forget people are people, just like me, just like you. 

But there are redeeming factors. Parents gave their kids some coins to put it in my case. A lady told me it was a beautiful song. People smiled. A man said he’d give me something except he was broke. A dad said to his kids while I was setting up ‘that lady’s going to play some music.’ The connection made it worth it. The smallest smile kept me playing. The kids’ curiosity made me happy inside. 

So I’m only asking one thing of myself and of you: next time, be that redeeming factor.

Lessons From Ezekiel and Mount Trio

Recently I read through Ezekiel, a prophetic book in the middle of the Bible. Elissa encouraged me to share some things I learned, so here we go! :)

Ezekiel was an amazing man. In his commission in chapter two, God says, “And thou, son of man, be not afraid of them, neither be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns be with thee, and thou doest dwell among scorpions: be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they be a rebellious house. And thou shalt speak my words unto, whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear…” (Ezekiel 2:6-7) God gave him some hard messages to deliver, and asked him to do some strange things as illustrations. Ezekiel never complained, never backed down - even in chapter twenty four where Ezekiel’s wife died and God told him not to mourn, because it was a sign and lesson for the people of Israel. I struggled with that; questioned why God did that to the poor man. But it gave me even more respect for Ezekiel, his humility, his acceptance of whatever God said, and His never-ending heart for the children of Israel, rebellious and stubborn as they were.

Although I couldn’t comprehend a lot of the visions God gave Ezekiel, I got one thing out of them: God is holy, so much holier than we grasp. In chapter ten, Ezekiel sees some of the glory of the Lord, and He can’t even describe the cherubim articulately – some of God’s created beings. What must God Himself be like? I feel our society, modern worship culture, has lost sight of the holiness of God. This is the same God whose glory Moses couldn’t stand to see, and when He came down on Mount Sinai, the Israelites had to cleanse themselves and keep away from the mountain, because the glory was so great it would’ve killed them.

A common thread throughout the visions and messages for His people was God’s unending love for them. He calls them rebellious from the beginning, and finds plenty of other synonyms along the way. He foretells destruction and ruin. But in it all, His heart comes through. He’s not angry; He’s grieved. He yearns over His children, and makes every effort to prove Himself to them – that He is faithful and all He wants is them to choose to come back to Him. Ezekiel thirty-four describes this beautifully: “For thus saith the Lord God; behold I, even I, will both search my sheep and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that He is among His sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep that are scattered; so will I deliver them out of all the places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. And I will bring them out from the people, and gather them from the countries, and will bring then to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel. I will feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down, saith the Lord God. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick… Thus shall they know that I the Lord their God am with them, and that they, even the house of Israel, are my people, saith the Lord God. And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are men, and I am your God, saith the Lord God.” (Ezekiel 34:11-16 & 30-31)

The passage which impacted me most was the first half of Ezekiel thirty-seven, where Ezekiel describes his vision of a valley of dry bones which, at the word of the Lord, come to life and become an army. It was such an inspiration, and has become a vision in my own life. But maybe I’ll share that in another post. :)

I hope I’ve taken a few of these lessons from Ezekiel into my life – learning to humbly accept what God asks, being willing to be used by God, ask for a heart that yearns over people like God does, having respect for the supreme holiness of God, and learning to trust that God is still God in things I don’t understand. 

Take courage friends, if God used Ezekiel to spread His message, He will use us if we’re willing. If you’re feeling distant from Him, or experiencing cloudy and dark days, know He’s still there. In fact, He’s not on some far away throne in the sky, He’s out there looking for you. He’s by your side, and He will pull you through to His pasture. And in the end, the only thing any of us will be able to say is that He’s the Lord, our God.

~

What have you been reading or studying? Have you ever read Ezekiel? Do you think we have lost sight of God’s holiness?

Current Inspirations and Announcement!

Maybe it's because I've been spending a lot of time in front of a screen, between studying, keeping up with the blogger peeps, and beta reading/reviewing three totally different but enjoyable stories: Jordy Leigh's soon-to-be-released novella, Isolated; Jesseca Wheaton's latest short story, A Place Called Lonesome, and They're Rugby Boys, Don't You Know? which I received in exchange for a review through this website. My mind is swirling with things I want to share, but every time I sit down to a blank document, the words just don't come. I'll get them out soon enough (I have a feeling God is trying to teach me something with this), but in the meantime, here are some things which have been keeping my inspiration levels up:

Hosanna's new blog page: The Story. If you only check out one of the links in this post, make it this one. I've read The Story a few times now and it still gives me greater glimpses into what Jesus really did for me, for you.

Hosanna and Paige's recent posts about Project Love (Hosanna's here, and Paige's here). This is an awesome project which technically started on the first of June, but it's never to late to love more.

Kara's thought provoking post: What Feeding Your Brain Looks Like. This post is relevant and practical and true - something I needed to read.

When God's Commands are Unpleasant, over on Gloria's blog. I hadn't read anything like this in a while, so it was refreshing, and... convicting. What is my Nineveh?

Another convicting and heartfelt post: For Them/By Them {the lost}.

Elissa's recent posts: His Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Vision, Broken People Sit in Church Pews, and Be. Wow, each one has such a good message.

And this thought out and fascinating post on life by Anna: Have We Been Misunderstanding Life All along? I only recently discovered her blog, and it was a great find.

Emily's poem: Spring Rain. I really like the flow of words in this - it matches the title perfectly.

I also have to mention Julia Ryan's book of her poetry is now available to buy! (See her poems here, and blogs about life here.) I rarely,  rarely, like free verse poetry but Julia's poems are an exception, and I hope to acquire a hard copy of them soooon. Also on that note, Schuyler is publishing her book, War of Loyalties, and she's running a Kickstarter to pay for the publishing, which I think is a brilliant idea. Of course, helping her out means getting the book and other bonuses in the end (unless you live outside the USA like me :/).

This beautiful quote from Kailey Anne's blog:

"There are some questions we will never get the answers to until we reach the other side.  Some things will just never make sense while we're here.  Life burns but it's happy too.  When I was younger I expected life to roll out exactly as I expected.  Woah.. was I wrong.  Things never go as you expect.  I was supposed to be fulfilling my "big" life purpose traveling the world, working an amazing job that I loved.. etc.  It's hard to accept years of seeming emptiness.  But here's something I've learned:  Nothing is ever wasted.  Even if our only response to things is "why?" uttered from the deepest longings and aching of our souls.

It will all make sense someday.  Even if that someday is when we reach the other side."

Ezekiel 34:11-16 & 30-31. There's so much of Ezekiel I don't understand, but that passage speaks to me. If you need encouragement, go read it. God's love for us, his sheep, is overwhelming.

Now the announcement (don't miss this):

My fabulous, awesome, sweet-as-date-pudding-with-icecream, super inspiring, sister Rachel has started blogging! I've had the privilege of hearing her deep spiritual thoughts and lessons from life, and reading her writing, (and yes, goofing around together when we're meant to be asleep), and I'm so excited to see her start reaching out to others through blogging. I know God is going to use her blog: Me, My God, and Maverick. Go help yourself to the amazingness, and see what I'm talking about (or at least find out who Maverick is)!

Thanks for reading this disjointed rambling post, and I hope you have an excellent weekend. What's been inspiring you recently? Any posts or blogs or books I've been missing out on? Have you checked out my sister's blog yet? ;)

P.s This is the first time in over four years blogging I've written a post straight on blogger. Does anyone else write up their posts in Word, or somewhere else, before posting?